Tinder-Benders on I Am The F-Bomb!

Please check out my piece on Tinderisms, up now on I Am The F-Bomb!

http://www.iamthefbomb.com/personal-story-tinder-benders/

Here's some excerpts:

Maybe it’s the simplicity of it, or the fact that it could be the most perfect social experiment, but it does raise many questions and conundrums.

Why does it have to be so absolute? I’m on this site because I have a problem with commitment, so why am I forced to make an unalterable decision right this second? Yes could lead to a few different scenarios, no would lose that person presumably forever. WHAT IF I’M SWIPING LEFT TO MY SOULMATE?

Here’s the normal anxiety-ridden scenario I face on a daily basis:
Do I like him? Yes or no? Can I put maybe? Can you ask me in like a month when I’m desperate and my standards have been significantly lowered?

He’s hot, but he also seems to really love tribal tattoos and cargo shorts. Can I look past these things because he is actually hot?

Or can he grow a beard – is there potential for a beard? Does he have chest hair? Can I ask him if he has chest hair?

Generally, the profiles you see will constitute a big, fat NOPE in your brain. The app is mostly useful in figuring out what you DON’T like. Or things you thought you didn’t like, but are willing to overlook at this point in your life.

[...]

In my experience with my “matches,” or a dude I’ve swiped right to, who has also swiped right to me, I’d say about 40% of them are freakin’ gross. Like right off the bat, “wanna bang?” (which is a FAR more tame version of some messages I’ve been sent) What the heck, NO?

I feel like I do a pretty good job in weeding out the creeps, but it doesn’t matter if you find a nice, respectable young gentleman smiling next to his maw-maw, he’s still going to be a totally disrespectful weirdo.

Usually, you match with someone and you don’t say anything. Ever. The dude’s profile is just chillin’ there in your arsenal of validation.

I’m old fashioned about my 21st century dating apps, so I expect a guy to message me first. But, I am a modern career woman and I don’t have time for this chivalry, so I need to figure out the perfect ice-breaking line to reel ‘em in. I was thinking, “I don’t have herpes!” That should work.

 

Except, one guy sent me a joke and I didn’t get it and I was embarrassed so I blocked him. I’m sorry, dude.

Here’s some trends I have observed in using the app for about two weeks.

Swipe left for any guy who “lives life to the fullest” or lists “working out” as a hobby.

To guys with pictures and no description: are u tryin 2b mysterious~ or ~aloof~? v cool guy~ ur 2cool4tinder~

A plethora of “positive vibes.” Okay what the hell is a vibe? ~whoa brah, yer vibe man, totally negative man; tubular; gnarly~

Lately...

Spotted myself in the monthly HealthSouth newsletter!

Found an AMAZING vintage faux squash blossom necklace on Etsy.

Dress is from Free People

My beautiful babe

Quick pic of what I wore:

Tunic - Free People

Undershirt - Old Navy

Fringe cardigan - Free People

Brown clogs - Lucky Brand (found at Plato's Closet)

Jeans - American Eagle (black high rise jeggings)

Coat - Margot from Urban Outfitters

Rings - Birchbox, Old Navy, rue21

Had a yard sale with my friends

Me hustlin' at 5th Avenue Antiques

Cuddlin' with Sylv.

gravy fries for Girlsgiving with my best friends!

More Sylvia

Loved seeing my mom's sweet dog, Daisy, over the break!

so excited about my fresh hair cut, great lighting and new mascara that i took a shameless selfie

NOT excited about the lack of wine

Hung out with my cousin's babe, Baxter!

And cooked brunch (chocolate bacon muffins + mimosas) for my friends after a loooooooong and tiring weekend.

First Piece on I Am The F-Bomb!

This is my first contributing piece on I Am The F-Bomb, a Birmingham-based feminist blog that features many amazing women writers who I'm honored to be featured with!

My post is called "Rape Culture at UAB." It highlights the shortcomings, myths, and resources surrounding sexual assault on campus, specifically at my alma mater, the University of Alabama at Birmingham. It also features a short documentary by two amazing film students and a lot of facts and links.

Excerpt:

Does UAB have a rape culture problem? In short, yes. I would wager that very campus does. Download the Yik Yak app or go to a frat party and you’ll hear a plethora of rape jokes and misogynistic statements being tossed around nonchalantly, adding to the victim blaming and trivialization of sexual assault and inevitably encourages women to not report their attack.

Rape culture at UAB becomes a huge problem when its own police force perpetuates it. My first encounter with the UAB Police Department was a female officer at an on-campus Take Back The Night event for SURVIVORS to share their stories, jumping up and scolding young women for “walking around alone at night” and “wearing headphones” when walking on campus. Additionally, on the UABPD’s website, there is a page titled, “Date Rape”  with a lot of problematic wording on it that makes my skin crawl.

[...]

Excuse me, but where is the section for men? Did I miss the part where the UABPD told men, “Hey, if you see a girl passed out on the couch, she legally cannot consent to sex!” or “Just because you take a girl out, even if she kisses you, or flirts with you, even if she’s had sex with you or anyone else a billion times before, does not mean that sex with her should be owed or expected.”

I think that campus safety tips are important, but the UABPD does not realize that women have these cautious behaviors engrained in our every move due to a society that not only ignores, but often condones sexual assault. It is more important to provide useful information instead of judgmental wording.

Click here to read more:
http://www.iamthefbomb.com/rape-culture-at-uab/

Halloween and Dia de los Muertos in Birmingham!

This was actually the only picture I ended up taking on Halloween!

My best friend, Rachel (@ohhirachel), drove up from Mobile as Bjork to see me!

I was a witch again if you couldn't tell...

I'm so glad we got to stay out all night like the good ole days. :)

Last weekend also held the Birmingham Dia de los Muertos festival downtown!

The memorials and artwork were so breathtakingly beautiful.

It felt like the entire city was there that night.

There was food, drinks, artwork, sugar skull face painting and several amazing performances.

It's one of my favorite Birmingham events out of the whole year.

Ugh, sorry some pictures were blurry, but still so mesmerizing!

An ode to the legendary Sun Ra

Sculptures in the center of the graveyard.

The Dalai Lama in Birmingham!

Hunter and I had the amazing opportunity to hear the 14th Dalai Lama speak in Birmingham, at Regions Field for "An Afternoon with His Holiness" during Human Rights Week.

Here, he is seen with Mayor William Bell.

It was a wonderfully enlightening and moving speech on celebrating oneness, peace, and all the ways that we, as humans, are similar, instead of feuding over our differences.

It was so refreshing to hear the Dalai Lama laugh and joke around throughout his presentation, and it was a day that I'll never forget.

The Birmingham monks creating a beautiful mandala in honor of the Dalai Lama's visit

The "Jolly" Lama outside of Good People Brewing Company

The Dalai Lama also spoke at the University of Alabama at Birmingham (as seen above with his UAB visor, haha), the Alabama Theatre, and 16th Street Baptist Church (pictured below) during his visit.

I'm sorry, please forgive me, but I couldn't resist.

Mayor Bell with Dalai Lama, Mayor Bell with actual llama.

Plus, I find it extremely amusing that the bottom photo is on Mayor Bell's Wikipedia page.

Red Pearl!

First, dinner was amazing.

Eggrolls, pan-fried pork dumplings, egg and seaweed soup and mongolian beef

And I got this little cat bowl for Sylvia's water from the market side.

She loves her new bowl!

Then, I got to grab some of my favorite international snacks :)

I'm Really Bad at Titles, You Could Say I've Never Earned a Title in It (save with a pun)

Pita Stop with my cousin and mama for her birthday!

October Birchbox:

Vasanti BrightenUp! exfoliating cleanser 

Tocca green tea and lemon hand cream

Model CO Power Lashe Longwear black mascara

SAGE + fasten Onward rollerball perfume

and another Beauty Protector Protect & Detangle spray

Attended my first ever UAB football game (as an alum, oops)

Sweet Melvin :)

Wore my new converse for the birmingham ghost walk!

I didn't get any photos, but I encourage everyone to go.

It's $15 and is led every night during October.

For more information, go to http://www.bhamhistory.com/

Lately...

Bring on the scarves, it's fall.

(Yes, I'm one of those folks who refuses to wear scarves in the summertime)

Scarf from Madewell, vintage rings, cloudy chambray shirt from Gap

Catchin' up with an old pal from high school while in Auburn!

Wearing an amazing kaftan from Harold & Mod in Birmingham.

 Saw my friend, Carson's, band, King Carnivore with 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea at Bottletree!

My dude in a kitty cat sweater 

Spotted on our way back from Huntsville... Do you really need a sign?

Great Wall Chinese Restaurant pt. 2 with Hunter and Lucky Buddha Beer!

Cheap brow highlighter by NYX from Target (YEP, they carry NYX now! Joy to the world), and it really works!

New print for my bedroom from BySamantha on Etsy!! I love it :)

(the candles are NOT for a seance, I was just trying to flatten it out, haha)

 Celebrating Hunt's 21st at Parkside!
(a lil drunky)

Trip to Sloss Furnace with the Office

For Employee Appreciation Week at my work, the Communications and Creative Group took a day trip to Sloss Furnace. We learned a lot about history, the process of making iron, and the rumors of ghosts (my favorite part of the tour).

Plus, it's so picturesque, I had to take a few shots.

The origin of "pig" iron

Lunch downtown at El Barrio! Tamarind margs and shrimp quesadilla.

A little souvenir :)